


Gynephobia

by JiSugaHoe



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: And by it I mean touch your cousin, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Healing, Hurt Ryan Bergara, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sorry Not Sorry, You gotta understand that men can be raped too, hey my name is (not) Laura Hughes proving girls can do it too, no it wasnt, was it worth it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-03-29 11:16:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiSugaHoe/pseuds/JiSugaHoe
Summary: (An actual shit-storm)Warning; this could be triggering to people who have experienced rape or sexual assault.In which Ryan was sexually assaulted by his caretaker as a child and now has a fear of women and can’t stand hearing his own name.And I’m really bad at explaining things.“Ryan?” a tall man peeked in the doorway.“P-please, call me anything-“ Ryan shuddered, “anything but that.”Where Shane slowly teaches Ryan how to live with his trauma because I’m a little shit that can’t come up with names so I won’t have him change his name.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am the eggman  
> They are the eggmen  
> I am the walrus  
> Goo goo g’joob

“We’re going to play a little game okay, _Ryan_?”

“I know you really like playing cards, _Ryan_.”

 “I’m going to show you a new way to play cards.”

 “I love playing cards with you,  _Ryan_. _”_

————————————————


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for leaving kudos on my chapters, it seriously makes my day thank you! <3<3<3

It was the first day Ryan was filming Unsolved with a new fellow, though it had only been a handful of episodes of Ryan filming with a partner until that one left. Apparently, he just wasn't too fond of working with ghosties and murder trials. So now, here Ryan was, filming with a new one. God, he really didn't want to have to explain to this new one why he didn't want him to use his actual name. Luckily a majority of the people working here knew this little fact and didn't use his real name unless absolutely necessary, so he likely wouldn't have a problem, but he was still shaking in his seat just thinking about it.   
Ryan was snapped by his thoughts by exactly what he was dreading, "Ryan?" a tall man peeked in the door.  
"P-Please, call me anything," Ryan shuddered, "anything but that..."  
Ryan curled up a bit and silently apologized.  
He knew he probably sounded like a complete lunatic asking for something as simple as that in such a dramatic way, especially when that was the first thing said but was instead surprised when he immediately was greeted without the normal flood of questions. This was definitely not the reaction Ryan was expecting.  
"Oh, sorry!" The tall man swerved between a few extra props and camera equipment before reaching Ryan's side, "What name would you like me to call you then?" He asked warmly.  
Ryan was still a bit uncomfortable but had slowly become a bit more stable after he realized that the man wasn't going to ask too many questions.   
"W-well, some people call me Ry, but really anything other than... that... would be good, thank you." Ryan slowly studdered out.  
"Well then, Ry. My name is Shane and I can't wait to start working with you!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about making a one-shot where Ryan gets scared of fireworks and asks Shane to stay with him.  
> Or I could add a dark twist where the reason he’s scared is because the sounds remind him of what he heard when he was almost murdered.

Today was the first day filming with Shane. This specific episode they were filming on-site of a haunted bar (not Ryan’s choice). 

Ryan gripped at the fabric of his jeans as they pulled up in the parking lot. The camera equipment was being pulled out of the trunk and brought into the building all while Ryan absentmindedly stared at his lap.

It wasn’t until Shane opened his door that he snapped back into reality.

”Hey, are you ready to come in, Ry?”

Ryan hesitantly nodded, though he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t ready at all, but he still decided it would be much better to be inside with the crew than alone in he car. 

Ryan stepped into the doorway, followed by Shane.

Ryan and Shane stood against the wall waiting and talking for a bit about what they liked to do outside of work.

After a few minutes of setting up everything, they were ready to film.

Ryan looked at Shane mouthing a silent ‘Ready?’.

Shane shot him an over-enthusiastic  thumbs up and wide smile, making Ryan laugh.

”Ready!” He said.

 TJ nodded and pressed a button on the camera to start recording.

”Could you do a test, Shane?”

Shane hummed and snapped loudly, the sound echoing all around the large room.

“That’ll work!”

They all paused before TJ signaled then Ryan to begin speaking.

“This week we cover the haunting of the Rigby Gentleman’s Club as part of our investigation into the question; ‘Are ghosts real?’”

Shane shook his head quickly, almost making Ryan burst out laughing again.

”You know, I didn’t think we’d be allowed to visit a club during work hours,” Shane turned farther towards Ryan.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll see why when I explain what happened here.” 

-x-

A bit of explaining later they were sitting on two of the barstools with a glass of bourbon sitting in front of them.

”There is apparently a spirit here that likes to take sips of peoples drinks when they aren’t watching.” Ryan brought up.

”So we’re going to just turn around and leave this glass here.”

Shane rolled his eyes playfully, but participated in spinning the chair backwards.

”Oh wouldn’t it be horrible if somebody came and take our drink.” Shane started.

Ryan smiled and continued, “Yeah, it would be so easy, too. I mean, considering we aren’t looking at it now.”

Shane smirked, “The easiest.”

They paused. 

“Okay, we’re gonna turn around again in 3...” Ryan started held up one finger.

Ryan realized what happened and both of them burst into a fit of giggles.

”You just held up one while saying three!” Shane said between laughter, covering his face with his hand.

Ryan wheezed.

”Do you need help counting?” Shane joked lightly.

Shane heard no response and looked up.

”Ry?”

Ryan’s face had gone blank.

//-//

“Do you need help counting?”

”Do you need help counting the cards?”

”Do you need help?”

There was a light buzzing in the back of his head, behind the words.

Ryan felt like he was suddenly launched back in time. 

Back to see  _her._

 

Back to hear her voice.

No more

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

”Ry?” He heard Shane call.

He realized that Shane had been calling his name for almost the 10th time.

The whole crew had gathered, asking if he was alright and what was wrong.

Ryan breathed in slowly then exhaled shakily before replying,

”I’m fine.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mmm, mmm, ba, da  
> Boom, boom, ba, bay  
> Boom, boom, boom, ba, bay, bay
> 
> Pressure pushing down on me  
> Pushing down on you  
> No man ask for  
> Under pressure that brings a building down  
> Splits a family in two  
> Puts people on streets

“I’m fine.”

He wasn’t fine, he knew that, Shane knew that, the crew sure as hell knew that,

but they didn’t ask.

Shane cocked an eyebrow, almost in a playful way, though you could tell we didn’t mean it that way.

Ryan shook his head.

TJ called a break and started passing out water. 

Shane knew Ryan didn’t want to talk about it, it was obvious in the way he was now pulling his body closer to itself, making him seem smaller.

Shane frowned, ‘What happened?’

He thought back to the conversation they were having previously.

He said, ‘Do you need help counting?’

It was a joke, but that seemed to be the cause if it was in fact the conversation that caused it.

Shane brushes it off. 

‘I’m sure he’ll tell me later when he’s comfortable.’

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandman, I’m so alone  
> Don’t have nobody to call my own  
> Please turn on your magic beam  
> Mr. Sandman bring me a dream

Ryan was definitely  _not_ “fine” as he said. Shane noticed his sudden snap from laughing with him and his sudden panic-stricken expression. Sure, Shane found it odd that he had these random triggers, but he never once dared to ask, knowing that there must have been a reason for Ryan’s sudden mood swap. 

He just shrugged it off and continued with the shoot, more cautiously this time, glancing over at Ryan every once and a while to gauge his mood at the moment even though he knew he likely wouldn’t see any signs before something would happen.

But still, he watched, searching for any sign.

Nothing.

Nothing happened the whole shoot and the rest of it went completely smooth.

Shane was glad, but he did think it would be good to know what exactly showed Ryan was about to launch into his blank, teary, space.

 

(short one but I’m tired)


End file.
